


The Fault in Ourselves

by Grace_28 (orphan_account)



Series: My Destiel Heart [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Post-War, Angels, Beer, Broken Promises, Cas is alone, Castiel's Nickname is Cas (Supernatural), Dean Winchester is So Whipped, Drunk Dean Winchester, Family Issues, Gay, Loss, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Post-War, Promises, Well not really, castiel is so screwed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-03 07:26:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21175649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Grace_28
Summary: What does Dean Winchester decide to do when he realized that Castiel loved him? Easy! He proposed with beer!





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester sat on top of his black Chevy Impala 1967 car. He took a few swigs of his beer, gazing at the road in front of him. He and his companion, the angel Castiel, sat in complete silence that was accompanied by a tense atmosphere. Finally, after a few hours of driving, Dean pulled into an open space.

He stepped out of the vehicle and sat on Baby's hood. He took more sips from his bottle, immediately grabbing another when the first bottle was drained completely. Even Castiel, an incompetent person when it came to human interactions, could tell that something was wrong with his hunter. Castiel sighed as he stepped out of the car as well. "Are you okay?"

Dean turned to him, slightly drunk. Castiel had to yank the bottle out of his hands to get a legitimate answer out of the man. However, it seemed as though it was not the reaction Castiel had expected. Well, from the information he gained by watching television anyways.

"Never been better," Dean said. He reached for the bottle, only to have Castiel roll his eyes and place it inside the Impala. He turned back to Dean, his blue eyes boring into his soul.

"_Dean_," he warned. They stared at each other for a few moments before Dean finally looked away.

"Fine. I was just... I was just wondering about a few things." Dean scratched the back of his neck with his cheeks slightly flushing. Castiel's gaze immediately softened when he understood why Dean had suddenly gotten shy. It was very simple to Castiel.

"I will tell you what you want to know, Dean. Do not feel embarrassed about your curiosity. You are a smart man for asking questions," Castiel said. Dean smiled at him weakly before looking up at the stars.

"Why, um, why did God love humans more than anything?" Dean asked. Castiel almost fell back at the direct question. Upon noticing this, Dean chuckled and tapped his fingers on Baby's hood. Dean understood that it was weird of him to even care about religion. After all, his best friend was an angel, and his previous best friend was the king of hell. It seemed only natural for him to ask such a thing. "I mean, he supposedly decided that humans were his favorite species. Do you know why?"

Castiel sat silently, lost in his own thoughts. Dean accepted the silence as the answer. After all, why would Castiel know something about God's thoughts? He was an angel, not Chuck's equal.

"Humans were themselves," was Castiel's response. Dean looked at him in shock, to which Castiel smiled back. "You were the only species who were true to themselves and their heart. You chose each other in the most bizarre ways."

"What, uh, what about angels? Did you guys like my kind?" Dean asked nervously. Castiel frowned.

"Though some of us resented you, most of us never thought of you that way. Even when Lucifer had fallen, and God had abandoned us. In our eyes, you were our equals, and our equals were always respected," Castiel attempted to explain as delicately as he could.

"But, did you...?" Dean gestured randomly with his hands. Castiel tilted his head to the side before he realized what Dean was asking.

"If you are asking if I've had any negative feelings about your kind, then I have never felt that way. However, if you are asking about yourself, then my answer would be different."

"What's different with me?" Dean asked, although he was nervous to hear the answer.

"With you, there are a few things I dislike about you."

"Wow, Cas. Way to hit the bullseye," Dean scoffed. He tried to get back into the car, but Castiel tightly kept him still.

"I dislike your need to hide every realization you've ever made, and I dislike your self-inflicted hatred," Castiel said. "Although that is one of your more admirable traits."

Dean stopped struggling. "What?"

However, Castiel was no longer thinking about that issue. He took in a deep breath with a look in his eyes that just told Dean that he was tired. "Though I recall a few angels speaking of your ability to have a choice was desirable."

"Wait, what? Cas, those angels can fly away and kick ass at the same time," Dean scoffed.

"You don't understand, Dean. Humans.... do not need to follow a single person to survive. Angels... we have to rely on God's word, and we cannot refuse his demands. The only intelligence we have is to obey, and attack like mindless soldiers," Castiel explained slowly. His eyes, well at least to Dean, were stormy and full of intense resentment.

"So, uh, why think of humans as equals then? I mean, you could easily kill us without breaking a sweat."

"God threw Lucifer into Hell for giving Eve an apple that just explained to her that she was naked. What would he do to those who refuse a direct order?" Castiel asked back. Dean didn't reply.

Usually, Dean was good with sympathy. Mostly because he'd been through so many messed up things, he knew what it felt like. But, Dean didn't understand why saying a simple "no" would terrify a whole species. If it was that way with his family... if John forcefully asked Dean to take care of Sam when he disappeared, he wasn't sure whether the weight would kill him or not. Dean shuddered at the thought, smiling weakly at his best friend.

"Cas, I'm glad you didn't rebel until Sam and I came along." At this, Castiel laughed.

"I promise you, I've rebelled countless times before you," Castiel said.

"Oh?" Dean raised an eyebrow. Castiel grinned, porcelain teeth and all. It nearly blinded Dean with its appearance.

"It's true, and I guarantee that you were one of the greatest humans I've decided to rebel for," Castiel said.

Dean felt his cheeks flush by the sudden confession. How many people have an angel by their side, telling them that they are worth rebelling for? How many people have an angel by their side, staring at them as if they meant creation?

How many are this lucky?

"Cas," Dean found himself asking, "when we win, do you want to marry me?"

Castiel's carefree expression dropped immediately, and his eyes closed tightly. "_Dean_."

"No, man! I get it, it's fine. I didn't know why I..." Dean couldn't quite explain why his voice was cracking. Or why he had even asked such a thing from an angel.

"Dean," Castiel said softly, "I am not sure we will even win this fight. Nevertheless, even make it out alive. I am incapable of promising you this without guaranteeing that I will be there."

"What are you talking about, Cas?"

"Dean Winchester, in every entity we've fought, others had defeated them before. Azazel, Lucifer, Michael, and Amara were once defeated. However, nothing has ever killed God. The chances of us winning are nearly impossible," Castiel explained. "If I were to promise to marry you, I fear I would resent you if you hadn't made it. Or rather, I would resent myself for that same reason."

"But, what if we survive through it, Cas? What if we defeat God, and then I'm too scared to ask you again? You know how I am, hell, even I know how I am," Dean grabbed Castiel's hands, desperate to convince the angel. "You know that if we survive this thing, I won't gather up the courage to ask again."

"But, Dean, I am not a fully functional angel. I am just a burden to you. I am incapable of helping you win this fight. The odds were never in our favor. God will-"

"Dammit, Cas, just shut up!" Dean shouted. "You've had to deal with every shortcoming I've ever had. You've had to deal with all my bullshit. You've had to deal with every human's bullshit. And you think that I'd turn my back on you just because you've lost your powers?"

"You know what we Winchesters always say to the odds? We say, "fuck the odds"! Cas, forget God! Hell, forget everything out there! Forget that you've lost your powers. Forget that you're an angel. Forget everything, but us right now."

Castiel was silent.

"Please, Cas. Just say yes or no. That's all I ask, and I'll never ask of this again after you answer," Dean realized just how desperate he appeared. Dean hoped that he'd said enough for Castiel would take everything seriously.

"Did they... Did Heaven ever tell you what I've done in your name?" Castiel asked instead of replying.

"What?"

"I've abandoned my armies of ancient entities to protect you. I've killed my own brothers and sisters in your command. I've hurt myself more than enough times for you. And you still do not know my answer?"

"Cas, what are you..."

"If you ask something of me, I will comply." Dean looked at him in horror.

"Cas! I'm asking you to give me an answer you want to give, not give me an answer I want to hear!" Dean choked on his own words. Dean struggled to steady his breathing as Castiel looked thoughtful. He should be prepared for a "no". He should be ready for every answer that Castiel could possibly give him.

"To me, they are the same. Whatever you ask me to do is never an order, and I've done everything on my own accord."

"So you will-"

"Yes, Dean, I will promise myself to you." Then, before Dean could even sigh in relief or move to kiss the angel, Castiel let out a loud laugh. "However, human television has warned me that you should've probably taken me out on a date first."

Dean snorted. Then he linked their fingers together as he said, "whatever you want, angel."

~  
It seemed as if everything was occurring in slow motion. The lightning in the sky halted, and the rain didn't fall. Sam's screams were not ignored, neither was the screeches from God's body. Dean was sprinting to his brother's side, and before Castiel could realize it, Dean was cut by the sword Sam had long lost control over. A loud ringing sound forced God on his knees, and Sam chanted the words louder.

Castiel rushed up the hill, his tears furiously streaming down his cheeks. Dean looked as though he was in a daze, and the large cut around his chest did not help. Castiel immediately took off his trenchcoat, ripping it to apply pressure onto the wound. He soon came to realize that the cut had directly slashed Dean's heart in two, and he begged every entity he knew to give him back his powers. When nobody replied, Castiel looked back down at Dean, tears streaming quicker now.

"I want you to wake up," Castiel pleaded as he held Dean on his lap. He slapped Dean's cheek lightly as he attempted to remain calm. "You said whatever I wanted. Dean, I want you to wake up. Wake up and tell me everything will be fine. That we will be fine. That the world will be okay. That our wedding will happen!"

Dean said nothing. His face was pale, and his previously lively green eyes were now nothing more than a grey hue. More blood flowed out of his body, and Castiel couldn't help the weak sobs that he made. On the battlefield, he could see Sam Winchester's lifeless body and God's own nearby. Their eyes were burnt out, and Castiel was able to see that they were dead. He was the lone survivor of this battle.

"Dean, this is why I didn't want to promise you. This is what I was so afraid of having to endure. You shouldn't have made me promise you."

Castiel looked up at the sky again, and, at that moment, every being that was ever created could hear the words he had screamed. Every being was forced to their knees and wept with the emotion that they felt run in them.

"Why should the sky lose its clouds? Why should the ocean lose its life? Why should the Earth lose its sun?" It was a mantra that every being could feel course through their bodies. It was a mantra that commanded them to give Castiel someone to blame. It happened for hours. Perhaps, days even. There were tornados, and hurricanes, and tsunamis, along with earthquakes so fierce the Earth split open. Nearly a hundred times more animals and species had been killed compared to the last extinction planet Earth had.

No scientist could explain it in a way that everyone would agree. Some said God was angry. Others said he was crying. Few said he was mourning the loss of someone important. None seemed to realize that their God had left them, and that the one wrecking all this havoc just wanted _answers_. And when all the events was over, when Castiel deemed it to be over, there was a defeated sigh from humanity's guardian angel.

"The fault is no other than ours."


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the heart attack last chapter! ;)

”Cas!” Dean called loudly, shaking his friend awake harshly. ”C’mon, angel, you wanted to go on a date, right?”

”Dean?”

”Yeah, it’s me. You okay, Cas?” Dean said slowly, putting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder warily. Castle smiled widely and shook his head.

”Sorry, it was just a bad dream.” Castiel reached up to hug Dean. “Is Sam here?”

“Sammy said he’s going to town to grab some supplies. We can walk around while he’s gone,” Dean smiled softly. “I can wait outside.”

“No,” Castiel said as he shook his head again. Dean sighed, taking a seat on the bed.

”Alright,” Castiel let out a sigh of relief. ”Do you want to tell me about it?”

”My dream?” Castiel asked to make sure. It had felt weird to call it that, especially since 

"Yeah. You were thrashing around the entire time, and you were crying," Dean explained. The hunter raised his hand to Castiel's cheek, wiping the dried tears.

"Sorry," Castiel felt sheepish. He once led an army of a hundred ancient entities in a war, yet this was what made him embarrassed. Dean chuckled. "It wasn't that bad, actually. It was just one of the things I was scared of."

"Hmm, alright," Dean shrugged. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," Castiel smiled at him, pulling a random shirt over his head. It was warm, and it smelled pleasant. Castiel was comforted by the fact that he could use this shirt without getting yelled at by Dean. It made him feel like he was Sam's level of Dean's importance ranking.

"What are you smiling about, Cas?" Dean asked. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Castiel shook his head again, catching up with Dean easily.

"It's nothing, Dean."

"If you say so."

They walked out of the bunker, acting like absolute dorks. Dean took a peek at the unusually happy Castiel, and he smiled to himself. Castiel was swinging his arms wildly, giggling to himself about the most insignificant things he'd noticed. For example, there was this small ant that kept stumbling behind his friends, and there was this roly-poly that shriveled up for no reason. Dean almost laughed himself, since it was so infectious.

"What are you thinking about?"

"That snail," Castiel pointed it out, "is walking super slow. When I was younger, I would stare at its ancestors for the longest time. I remember it to be walking a lot faster, though."

Dean grinned despite himself. "Oh yeah?"

Castiel nodded, looking up at Dean with a bright smile. "Dean, I'm glad everything's over, now."

"Not everything, Cas, but some things are," Dean corrected. Castiel nodded along. "Look at that squirrel. He's stuffing his face with acorns."

"And that bunny! He's trying too hard to catch up with his friends," Castiel pointed them out. They spent 30 minutes like this, pointing out the obvious and laughing together.

God, Dean thought to himself, he's so in love it hurts. He wondered how his parents even survived such a thing.

He inhaled, turning to Castiel with a soft smile. "Cas, we need to talk."

Castiel immediately froze, and Dean could swear he could see tears forming in his eyes. His face paled, and he drew in a shaky breath. "Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks and our time together," Castiel seemed sad now. 

Dean tilted his head to the side, wondering where that line seemed familiar from. His smile immediately dropped in realization. "No, no! Not that talk, Cas. This is a different one from last time," Dean attempted to convince his angel. He grabbed Castiel's hands. "Seriously."

Castiel smiled at him weakly, and he motioned for Dean to continue. "You know, I was going to propose again since we're on our first date, but now I'm scared this isn't the right time.

"What?"

"Great, now I've made an idiot of myself," Dean groaned, covering his face. Castiel's face immediately softened. 

"Sorry, Dean," Castiel decided to say. 

They were quiet for a few moments before Dean burst out laughing. He turned to Castiel, urging Castiel to laugh as well. "Remember that time where you nearly made me shit my pants by standing behind me in the bathroom?"

Castiel grinned. "Remember when we were squished together in that chair? We were practically sitting on one another."

"Yeah, that was great!" Dean nearly fell over. "I guess Sammy was right when he said we were married already!"

"Now would be a good time, Dean," Castiel's grin widened as Dean laughed harder.

"Alright, angel," Dean rolled his eyes. He dropped on one knee, and, instead of pulling out a ring, he stuck out his middle finger. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course I'll marry your middle finger!" Castiel rolled his eyes as both of them began laughing again. This time, the force of their laughter made them fall down on the grass. 

Castiel grinned as Dean linked their hands firmly. "I love you so much I can cry."

"I love you so much that I can cry as well," Castiel said. "And as much as I'd love to keep saying that, Sam's going to kill us if he comes back and sees that his share of the pie is not stolen."

"Well, I can think of a few ways the newly engaged can eat it." Dean winked. Castiel rolled his eyes, falling into step with Dean.

"Whatever you want," he returned.

And let’s just say that poor Sammy had come inside only sprint back out, internally scarred.


End file.
